Love and Loss

Christina BruniLeave a comment

Other things you can add to a salad are walnuts or almonds. I used to use chick peas in a salad too. You can used blue cheese like in a Cobb salad. Olives of course can go into a salad. Onions too.

We need to eat well to keep our energy up when we’re going through a hard time.  We need to continue a bare-bones yet consistent and regular fitness routine when we’re going through a hard time.

Life can be hard and present us with challenges. We can return to our full-steam activities when we’re able.

It can be hard most of all when our loved ones have a hardship or an illness that we have to cope with.

It is most of all the hardest when a loved one is at the end of their lives.

I’ve written in the blog and elsewhere that mental health agencies universally fail their older constituents who are now living alone after their parents / caregivers have died.

I wrote at HealthCentral for our family members about doing succession planning and creating a Special Needs Trust instead of a will for a loved one who collects SSI for the rest of their life.

Not ordinarily do I like to give details in the blog about my own life. I will though say this: no one should be faced with terminal cancer at the end of their life like one of my family members is now.

I will write in the future about grief and bereavement from information in the pamphlets I picked up at the 2014 APA convention.

For now I will end here with this thought: we could benefit each of us from reaching out for support when our family members are in their seventies and eighties and won’t be around for a lot longer.

I will do my tiny humble part by writing about grief and bereavement in the blog. Mental health agencies should no longer avoid talking about this. I’ll talk about this since they’re not.

Chockfull of Salad

Christina BruniLeave a comment

I tend to have a lot of salads. You can buy Earthbound Farms organic kale on the cheap and it will last for four days of servings.

Here’s an easy simple recipe:

Cut kale or other greens up. Peel and chop carrots. Use olives. Cut tomatoes into wedges. Slice an onion. You can also slice bell peppers.

Toss into a salad bowl. Add olive oil and vinegar or olive oil and lemon. Squirt onto the salad to your taste and toss.

I add grated parmesan on the salad after I use the dressing on it.

Here’s a handy secret that I really shouldn’t be giving away:

You can buy pre-made salads and place them in individual salad bowls to serve to guests at a dinner party. You can find store-bought salad dressing to use that is a healthful option like Cucina Antica organic salad dressing

Fresh Direct is an online delivery service in New York City and Philadelphia. Peapod is available in a lot of other places online. Either way you get groceries and household supplies delivered right to your front door.

I buy Greek salads this way and found a Fresh Direct olive oil-and-sundried tomato vinaigrette dressing to use on the salads.

Bobbi Brown the famous makeup artist in her book Living Beauty describes how to make what she calls a “chopped kitchen salad.”

Whether it’s her version or mine I make the case for having more salads and other greens for lunch or dinner.

You can get a CSA box delivered from Fresh Direct–a community-supported agriculture box of 8 to 10 items of produce from June through end of December. It comes from a local organic farm.

The $30/box has enough produce to make a variety of meals or side dishes. I received butter leaf lettuce and created a salad for dinner one night along with a recipe for lemon-and-thyme carrots.

It’s true I’m obsessed with eating mostly only real food that comes from God’s green earth not a laboratory.

Get the cookbook Vegetables Every Day by Jack Bishop. I find myself running to this book every week to cook the produce I buy. The recipes are simple and easier to cook because they don’t often take up a lot of time.

Happy eating!

 

Fall Into Winter Favorites

Christina Bruni1 Comment

I want to return to talking about nutrition.

The fall through early winter is my favorite time of year for eating well.

One recipe that is easy and healthful is for butternut squash soup:

Cut squash in half and remove seeds. Roast in 400 degree oven for 25 minutes.

Take out and scoop out squash and blend in a blender with vegetable stock. Add about half a container of stock and add more to suit your taste if you’d like. I buy the vegetable stock boxes.

Pour soup mixture in saucepan and add 1/2 cup heavy cream. Simmer until heated.

Serve with a couple slices of cheese and some whole grain bread. I like the organic whole wheat sourdough bread you can get from Bread Alone in New York City.

Hearty! And oh so filling!

Up next I’ll talk about my kind of a garden salad that I call a chockfull of salad salad.

New Year’s Resolutions

Christina BruniLeave a comment

It’s coming up on the time when people make New Year’s resolutions. I think it’s more helpful to plan in terms of setting a goal you can achieve in three months / every season / and a goal you can achieve in one year.

The reality too is fare more real: fitness is forever. Allowing the number on a scale to dictate how you feel about yourself is most likely all too common. Thus the mad frenzy to join a gym on January 1st.

I say: examine your motivation. Ask yourself “Why do I want to do this __________________(lose weight or whatever you want to do)? Be clear that you’re setting a goal that is specific measurable achievable relevant and time-sensitive.

Remember too that planning in terms of a life-line instead of a deadline is the strategy that has helped me and might help other people and stop us from quitting or getting upset if we don’t do what we set out to as quickly as we hoped.

Case in point: it takes time to get fit–whether you’re striving for physical or emotional conditioning.

What I find helps is to think of the long-term outcome you want to achieve instead of berating yourself for not doing what you wanted to do in one week here and there.

The cumulative effect to me counts more than any temporary slip-up along the way. I’m living proof: I’ve gotten here–to 50–even though I have a diagnosis.

We each of us need to remember that the grass isn’t greener over there–we’re responsible for watering our own grass and planting the seeds of goals and tending to our own beautiful green and glorious garden.

This takes time. “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Just Do It. And Keep Doing It. Whatever “it” is that is sustainable for you in terms of a lifestyle.

Chances are not everyone is an Athlete archetype. This explains why not a lot of us are taking spinning classes five days a week and competing in marathons. That’s OK.

The point is to set a S.M.A.R.T. goal not chase after a New Year’s Resolution. I prefer to set goals in the fall and in the spring.

I joined the gym in March when I was 39. You see: it’s not ever too late to make a positive change. Investing in yourself at any age is the gift that keeps on giving.

During this season that is supposed to be of good cheer and peace to all on earth I wish that readers of this blog can find pockets of joy and happiness inside the challenges we all face living our lives in whatever we’re in recovery from.

Happy Thursday!

Psychiatrist Questions

Christina BruniLeave a comment

Here now I’ll list the questions you can ask your psychiatrist either when you’re first diagnosed or at any point in your recovery.

Psychiatrist Questions

If I need to call you, how long do you usually take to respond? Do you have another doctor on-call if you’re on vacation?

If I ask you questions, will you give me detailed information about why you think I need a certain treatment? I need to know the rationale behind your suggestions.

What drugs do you frequently prescribe to your patients? Have you had success with these drugs?

How much experience have you had with atypicals?

Will you prescribe drugs “off-label” if you think it will benefit me?

Will you discuss any side effects of the medication you’re treating me with, and do you have a plan in case I develop a side effect?

Is your focus on mental illness treatment and recovery, or do you have a general clientele? Are you willing to be creative in custom-tailoring solutions to my treatment needs?

If my parents or a third-party person needed to speak on my behalf or talk to you about my treatment, how would you handle that?

What would a typical session with you be like?

Do you have an area of expertise with certain illnesses?

Where did you get your degree? Are you Board Certified? How long have you been in practice?

What do you feel challenges and inspires you as a doctor? [This could tell you a lot about their personal work ethic.]

What hospitals do you have admitting privileges with?

Are you willing to coordinate my treatment with my primary care doctor or get the results of blood work or tests from this doctor to integrate my whole health care outlook?

Do you have evening or morning or weekend hours?

Do you test for tardive dyskinesia? Have you ever had a patient who developed this, and what has been your experience with treating TD?

Do you take my insurance? Will you bill my insurance company or do you expect me to pay up front and then submit my own claim form for reimbursement?

What is my diagnosis and how did you come to that conclusion?

What medication do you propose to use? (Ask for the name and dosage level.)

What is the biological effect of this medication, and what do you expect it to accomplish?

What are the risks associated with this medication?

How soon will we be able to tell if the medication is effective, and how will we know?

Are there other medications that might be appropriate? If so, why do you prefer the one you have chosen?

What are the side effects of the medication? How long should I “wait out” any side effects before calling you?

Are there other medications or food that I should avoid while taking this medication?

How long do you expect me to be on this medication?

How often will I be seeing you until the medication takes effect?

If I’m taking more than one drug, when and how often should I take each one?

How do you monitor medications, and what symptoms indicate that the dosage should be raised, lowered or changed?

Are you currently treating other patients with this illness?

What are the best times and what are the most dependable ways for getting in touch with you?

What do you consider an emergency if I have to call you after hours?

Do you believe someone can recover from a mental illness?

[This question is the gold standard. If at all you get the idea that this doctor doesn’t believe recovery is possible it will benefit you to keep looking until you find a professional who is interested in seeing his or her patients succeed in life.]

U-N-I-T-Y

Christina BruniLeave a comment

I’m compelled to publish this last blog entry today before I go online shopping. I offer it as a disclaimer because in the coming days I’m going to report on what I learned at the NAMI-New York State educational conference.

My high school art teacher taught us the concept of “unity with diversity” in composition.

Michelle T. Johnson, the author of The Diversity Code, tells us that the ideal is the goal of “viewing diversity as the highest form of honoring individualism.”

I want to talk about this as I head into talking about what I learned at the educational conference.

Anyone who reads this blog will realize I have strong views. Yet what I believe is not any more valid than what another person thinks. More so, I’m not going to use my belief to justify discrimination.

I strive to treat everyone with dignity in the same open compassionate way. This to me is what’s missing from dialogue that often devolves into flame-throwing.

Johnson talks about the peril of how a person will counter another person’s belief with their own opinion as if their belief is valid and the original comment is not.

The cross of this matter is that no one is willing to work to find common ground, so that attacking your opposition has become the norm.

The beauty of living in America is that each of us can freely express ourselves. Fear of reprisal shouldn’t stop us from speaking out.

I listen to people, and I understand them. We’re all in this together. It’s precisely because I remember the past that I understand where consumers are coming from in what they say.

Yet I’ve always been more hopeful. Still it’s not “my way or the highway.” Not at all. I welcome unity with diversity. Queen Latifah sang a song “U-N-I-T-Y” in the 1990s. Remember that?

Like I said my new focus in this blog will be on right here right now. My contention is that we each of us need to move forward into the future, not remain stuck on crucifying the psychiatry of the past.

Today is right here right now the day to shift the needle.

I respect that leaders in the field and ordinary peers are evolving the dialogue at the NAMI-New York State educational conference.

The love is palpable there because we are all NAMI-New York State family. And family sticks together.

I just wanted to say this before I present my views of what I learned.

Fight Like a Girl–or Guy

Christina BruniLeave a comment

In her article the woman said she was upset that others talk about fighting their disability. She claimed the disability was part of who she was and that she fought discrimination instead.

This illustrates that for too long we’ve has to fight for our rights: for the rights other people take for granted that they have.

Normal people think nothing of having a home of their own and working at a job they love. Yet when you have a diagnosis you often have to fight to be taken seriously in your goal of living independently and having a career you love.

I’m willing to stand up for my rights and other people’s rights to live a life of dignity where we’re accorded kindness and compassion.

I say this because for too long our focus was misplaced. We often spend the earliest years of our recovery fighting the diagnosis and giving it power over us. Yet what you resist persists.

The moral of this story is: fight like a girl–or a guy. Stand tall. Walk proud.

In this regard: The Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act in the House of Representatives was marked up and kept intact with every provision. Call or e-mail your congressperson to urge him or her to vote yes on making this bill the law.

A contingent of Democrats tried to water-down this bill so that in effect it wouldn’t help those of us with a chronic form of schizophrenia who need evidence-based treatment. Shame on you, whoever those Democrats were.

The Act has bipartisan support. Fighting for the right of individuals diagnosed with schizophrenia to get effective treatment is one way to fight.

Right now I’m fighting against having to do the work of 10 guys in my Toms shoes to paraphrase the lyrics to a J. Lo song about her YSL stilettos.

My point is: nothing is going to change unless more of us have the courage to speak out against the crap: the crap that management covers up on the job; the crap we’re given in how others treat us; and the crap in terms of mental health treatment.

Gild it in gold: make it gold-plated on the outside: crap is still crap.

Demanding Excellence

Christina BruniLeave a comment

I’m sending this blog entry through one day early because I will be going to sell copies of Left of the Dial soon.

This is where I differ: my stance is that we should demand excellence: from ourselves, from our treatment providers, and from others in society in how they treat us.

Each of us has the choice: the free will to decide what we want to do and how we want to live.

I make the case though for striving to bring your A Game to the challenges you face.

We don’t have to do well everything we do. Yet doing well what’s important and what we value doing well can boost our confidence.

It’s not always easy to feel good when we’ve made a mistake or not performed well. Yet learning from a mistake and giving ourselves a pat on the back for trying is what will give us the confidence to try again.

My contention is: for too long people with disabilities were discouraged from setting goals and achieving them like other people in society do routinely. Other people take for granted going to school to get a degree and having a job and living in their own homes.

Now is the time for individuals living with chronic conditions to act like we’re hot shit. Demanding excellence signals to other people that we won’t accept being kicked to the gutter while others enter the banquet hall and feast at the table.

It’s a choice. I realize a lot of people are perfectly content to have an ordinary average life.

I’m simply giving out another possible option: setting our sights higher for what we can do and how we expect others to treat us.

I’m all for demanding excellence.

Risking Change

Christina Bruni3 Comments

I talked in the Left of the Dial blog–or was it here–about having a sustainable life.

Eating everything in sight–the see food–diet wasn’t sustainable for me. Buttoning up my individuality by working in office jobs at insurance firms wasn’t sustainable.

It takes courage to admit failure and take off in a new direction. A person can live in denial only so long before the lid pops off and we’re forced to confront things.

Denial is a coping mechanism we use when the truth is too painful to deal with. Yet make no mistake: we’re aware of the truth about what’s going on. We just keep stuffing it down. Then one day the lid pops off.

I met Lori Schiller at a book talk she gave at the Learning Annex circa 1994 when her schizophrenia memoir The Quiet Room was first published. Lori was the first person who told the audience that we can’t keep stuffing things down.

Stuffing things down causes ill health. I’m convinced it can cause illness.

I’m merely taking what Lori said and running with it because it’s so true.

We need to have the courage to risk doing something new. We need to have the courage to back up and take another route when the road we’re on is a dead end.

In the end and at the end of the day living true to ourselves is the only via option for having a full and robust life.

I might be the oddball in this regard because I choose to see the humor in life. I know that working at a buttoned-up job turned out to be a mistake. It’s better to figure this out later than not ever.

IMHO a job shouldn’t make you ill. And if you have schizophrenia, you shouldn’t be shunted into a job with narrowly defined duties and no chance of breaking out of that blind responsibility.

That’s precisely why I prefer working in a creative field: I like the customers and treat them with dignity. The library is a third place in the community that opens its doors to everyone.

Once a guy came up and I asked: “How can I help you?” “I need a psychiatrist,” he deadpanned. “Do you want a natural treatment or medication?” I followed along.

“I’ll have what  you’re having,” he continued the joke. And he was joking because in no way did he come to me for help finding a shrink. After this quirky banter he did tell me what he was there for.

A numbers cruncher I’m not. And I still can’t do long division. I got a 66 in my trigonometry Regents so I barely squeaked by. How you could rightly ask could someone like me think working in business was the ticket out for her? Wearing suits and having a steel demeanor. With no opportunity to joke around or banter with customers.

It took me seven years to figure out that the road I was on was a dead-end.

The moral of this story is that risking change is better than continuing to be in denial that you’ve gone down the wrong path. It’s better to risk change later in life than not to risk change at all.

With nutrition, with fitness, with a career: it’s better later than not ever to make positive changes.

Greenmarket Loot

Christina BruniLeave a comment

Greenmarket Loot:

broccoli, carrots, and Brussels sprouts

fresh mozzarella and Jersey beefsteak tomatoes

zucchini

organic whole wheat bread and a chocolate croissant.

tomato sauce

Total cost: $36. What it covers: two lunches and two dinners and sauce for a third pasta dinner. This seems to be a viable expense and saner than buying $36 worth of meat.

If you’re eating mostly a vegetarian diet you can afford to buy organic food simply because you’re not spending money on meat and potatoes.

I remember months ago Gwyneth Paltrow was given $200/for two weeks and asked to buy what an ordinary person collecting food stamps would buy to cook with.

You could get only two or three meals for only one or two people for $200.

It is unconscionable that the SNAP–food stamps program–benefits are being cut down drastically.

I see a person begging for change on October 30 and think: “It’s the end of the month. They must be waiting on a November SSI check.”

No one in America should have to go to bed hungry. No one in America should be discarded and left to fend for themselves.

In New York you can use food stamps to buy food at a Greenmarket. A significant number of food stamp dollars are spent at our Greenmarkets. If I remember upwards of over $500,000 is spent at Greenmarkets with food stamps in New York. I heartily endorse doing this along with using a food pantry if you have to.

No one wants to beg for change. No one wants to be poor. No one wants others to judge them because of this.

Who gives a shit if a poor person buys food at a Greenmarket. They deserve to be healthy too.

I’m a big fan of frequenting a Greenmarket. This is because I don’t take this for granted.

I remember living in a residence and having only $70 to spend for one week in 1989 to buy groceries for two people. No wonder some of us existed on hot dogs and Velveeta shells-and-cheese.

My contention is that there’s no shame if you have to use the service of a food pantry to obtain food.

The U.S. government is doing absolutely nothing to help average Americans exist on wages that have been stagnant for decades and haven’t kept up with the cost of living. No kidding.

As this is true I make the case for eating mostly vegetarian food.

Shopping at a Greenmarket and obtaining staples from a food pantry?

Yes. Yes. And Yes.