New Year’s Resolutions

I don’t ever make New Year’s resolutions.

One thing I like to do in January is spring cleaning. It’s the perfect time to donate a bag of items to the Salvation Army or charity of your choice.

A person should set goals at the time in their life that it makes sense to do so not because of a date on the calendar like January 1st.

For instance I joined a gym in March–at the start of spring. Spring is the season of rebirth and rejuvenation so if you ask me this is a great time to start taking action to achieve a goal.

Too often New Year’s resolutions are too vague or broad like “I want to lose weight.” Why do you want to lose weight and how much did you want to lose and what are the steps (sub-goals) you will take to accomplish this?

A goal should be SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-sensitive. You should give yourself what I call a “lifeline” for achieving a goal not an impossibly restrictive deadline.

It’s not the end of the world if you don’t achieve a goal by the time you wanted to make it happen. In this case you might have to change your goal or change what you do to achieve the goal. Sometimes abandoning a goal is what really makes sense.

For instance I wanted to take up running and I didn’t ever do this which is fine. I wanted to travel to Barcelona and I haven’t done this either.

One goal I absolutely did do when I was a young woman was to lose 20 pounds when I was overweight. You can click on my Nutrition category and Fitness category to read about how I did this.

I will talk about goal setting next in the context of mental health treatment.

Really any “treatment plan” should be a collaborative effort between you and your treatment provider not a goal that the doctor or therapist unilaterally foists on you.

3 thoughts on “New Year’s Resolutions

  1. Hi – believe you are magnificently dealing with similar diagnosis as my son – Schizophrenia and wonder if you could give us someinsight/ advice what helped you cope with loss of someone you loved

    • Hi,

      This is going to sound controversial however I have conversations with my father. He died a year ago after a life-ending Stage 3 illness. He has appeared to me in dreams at night as clear as if he’s there in real life. In dreams I see my father as clear as a photograph of how he looked in real life.

      I’m able to receive psychic predictions in a number of ways: via dreams at night; in images that come into my head; and through messages I receive about what’s going to happen. Three days before my father died I felt his presence on my left shoulder when I was in bed. I silently told the presence: “I love you I love you I love you.”

      Now as a person with a formal diagnosis it might be controversial to recommend talking with your loved one. However I have talked with my father ever since he’s been gone. He gives me advice. He cheers me on.

      It’s the one-year anniversary of my father’s death so my mother has wanted to honor this with a brunch for the family: she wants to serve brunch for us: her, my aunts, and me.

      I’ve started my own resume writing and career help business geared to helping mental health peers find and succeed at jobs. My mother has been and continues to be against this. However I think it’s one way to honor my father’s memory. My father started the family business out of a two-car garage location in the 1970s. My brother grew the business into one of the largest of its kind in the borough.

      Going into business with this side gig along with my library job is the way I have to create a legacy and continue my father’s ambition.

      I’m OK telling Dr. G that I talk to my father. I’m aware that not a lot of doctors would understand or accept this yet I stand firm in my conviction that I would tell Dr. G this because he would understand and accept this. It can sound screwy that a person talks to their loved one from the beyond yet this has been the single-most useful coping skill.

      In dreams my father has appeared to me as clearly as if I’m seeing him in real life. To understand more about my father and why he might have wanted to start his own business I’m corresponding with my uncle–my father’s brother. Sending and receiving the letters might make the winter go by faster in this arctic cold.

      Yes I’m able to talk to my father mostly in my apartment. Yet I have received psychic messages having dinner in a restaurant with the FM radio on the sound system as I’m eating.

      Hope this helps.


      • Thank you Chris – i think its natural to talk to someone we love, no longer tangibly with us, to tell them how you are feeling and that you love them and think starting a business as you are doing to help people facing challenging lives to be able to apply for jobs – is a truly incredable thing to do. Also incredable that you vare creaching out for help to make this possible. I agree this would be an impressive legacy. Lot to think about and hope your meal goes well and your business. Take your time to achieve what you are doing – probably people will jump on to help when they see your commitment. Wishing you all the luck and hugs from my son and me

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