Category: recovery

Having It Your Way

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In the 1980s Burger King advertised that you could “Have It Your Way” with their hamburgers.

The special sauce for living life today I dare say is deciding for ourselves what kind of lifestyle is the best one for us. It might not be what others tell us is the only “right” way to live.

This comes down to having the radical grace to accept that none of us is infallible or perfect. We won’t always do what’s in our best interest. The goal is to create a lifestyle that is optimized for our own version of health wealth and happiness.

My definition of health is not going to be the same as yours. Nor is your kind of healthy going to be the same as another person’s.

For a so-called expert (as opposed to a credentialed expert) to tell us there’s only one “right” way to be healthy is what I’m here to counter.

A recent secondhand experience got me to see that in the throes of illness there can be inside a person a version of wellness. However ill that person might be they can live resilient.

We need to expand what constitutes health when so many of us have chronic health conditions. Isn’t it possible to feel good despite with and because you’ re living with a medical condition?

In what ways can each of us feel good should we live with any kind of limitation on our health? This is an area I want to explore in this blog. With an array of ideas re: “how-to” have that full and robust life when in the throes of a health issue or other setback or kind of challenge.

Let’s face it: Who among us can really live up to any other person’s expectations let alone an expert’s? Each of us is our own expert on our life.

This is not an endorsement of going AMA or against medical advice that is sound and proven and we’re asked to follow. No–do what the doctor ordered when it has the potential to cure you or alleviate your condition.

What I’m against is trying to live up to an impossible standard re: what is the only right way to live our lives. I for one couldn’t work in a corporate office for example.

The same goes re: having those chips every so often. Being okay when we’re not up to par or are not feeling up to par.

In the current climate of “scarcity” it should be reassuring to know that we have enough and we are enough.

In this coming winter of hibernating and some of us having SAD or seasonal depression this comes down to figuring out where we want to use our energy and what we want to devote our time to.

Coming up a question I was asked that I think can be the springboard for finding out the right course of action. The question posed to me was a game-changer.

Filming a Slow Beat Production

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In an instant one day the words Slow Beat Production streamed into my head.

All along I realized that slowing down was the way to go. To zhush up this philosophy I call filming and living in the video of life a Slow Beat Production.

Decades ago I coined the term of giving yourself a lifeline not a restrictive impossible deadline by which to achieve a goal. I’ve failed at creating 5-year plans. Every 5 years I was tackling the same goals onto a new 5-year plan because I failed to achieve those outcomes in the first 5 years.

It took me 13 years to publish my first book. Over 5 years to accomplish a current objective.

Our lives are going by fast enough. The older we get we don’t have the kind of time to waste beating ourselves up or expecting ourselves to be perfect and do the right things always.

I have an issue with using the word “right” to describe an action or behavior. In a coming post I’ll detail the distinction I make as to why there’s no one “right” way to think feel live act love and dress.

Living our lives in a slow beat is called for when yes we want to get the things we want to have that we’re supposed to get. I’ll refer followers to the book I reviewed in here years ago: Changeology: 5 Steps to Realizing Your Goals and Resolutions.

The guide is a 90-day action plan for replacing an unhealthy habit with a new behavior. Ninety days isn’t really a long time. It’s far more viable to embark on a 90-day practice then to fall prey to a magazine article that tells you how to: Drop One Dress Size by Tuesday.

Again the ultimate aim is to reduce the pressure we have to conform, whether that’s following along in having a societally-approved ideal weight, an acceptable lifestyle, or a standard operating procedure for how to interact with others to name a few.

It comes down to self-respect. If we can’t live with ourselves when we wake up in the morning that’s when it’s time to change. This is why I said Goodbye, Chips.

What others think of us should be of no concern. Our best lives are calling and are within reach. This life is attainable when we have the courage to think for ourselves about the kind of life we want to have.

Avanti! Forward!

Choosing Sanity Over Vanity

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In here I’ll detail in this post further thoughts on a sane approach to consuming food and drink. Choosing sanity over vanity is what matters. Instead of caring how we look to others it’s healthier to think about whether we can live with ourselves at the end of the day.

It was the singer P!nk in a magazine interview easily a decade ago who told the reporter that if you feel bad about what you’re eating then you’re swallowing guilt.

Indulging in food or drink that we label a “good” or “bad” item has the tendency to make us think that we’re good or bad people for eating or drinking it.

Let’s face things so often what we choose to do is because we care how we appear to others. Taking the pressure off happens when we decide that the only person we need to impress or to have approve of us is ourselves.

My days of eating bags of chips are over. I stopped doing this for me.

What I’m saying and I’ve said this repeatedly before in one of the other blogs too is that whittling yourself down to skin and bones to attract others is what’s not ideal.

Are we really counting calories for our health? Are we choosing and using what to eat because the food improves our mood or does it just conform to what we think is healthy?

There’s a ton of products that the editors of the Nutrition Action newsletter expose as not really health-boosting.

Far better to indulge in a real food treat like a pastry every so often. Not bolt for a drink that’s supposed to give us energy or nutrients.

My goal is to share stories and teach others to be well as I’ve written before. Wellness is not the absence of illness. It’s not unachievable to be well when you expand the limits to the definition of wellness.

The online dictionary defines wellness as: the quality or state of being in good health especially as an actively sought goal. Within the limits we have with our bodies and minds we can strive to be in good health.

This starts when you and I ask ourselves: “What does good health look like for me? How can I get there? What do I need to do to sustain this lifestyle?”

Having the radical grace to be flexible and adaptable and open to change when this routine no longer fits our life. Just going easier on ourselves when we slip up or fall down here and there. Understanding that most setbacks are only temporary. Picking ourselves up and recommitting to the path we chose.

In the coming blog entry I’m going to talk in more detail about the ethic of going in a steady rhythm.

Thoughts on Popping Pills

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I’m thinking of how I want to live my life when I get older. In light of a milestone birthday coming up.

The choice a person makes to take pills to be well is a personal choice. No one should attack you or me for taking pills.

The conundrum faced in old age is the advent of taking medication. I read that ninety percent of old people are in poor health.

Could it be the luck of the draw that ninety percent of old people—nearly one hundred percent—has health problems. How could only ten percent of Americans be well when we reach retirement age at 65. What accounted for who was in this minority.

Googling the ninety percent statistic brought up an American Psychological Association article that verified this fact. Ninety-two percent of old people had one chronic condition. Seventy-seven percent had two medical conditions.

I have experience seeing a person who is 87 take 5 or 6 pills every day for heart, cholesterol, high blood pressure and other ailments.

This is not how I want to live should I be lucky to get to my eighties. I’m not keen to rely on pharmaceutical intervention for health issues I’m creating via my lifestyle choices.

This is the real deal: If you want to buy half gallons of ice cream every week and polish them off in that time you’ll likely be required to take a pill to be able to do so.

In my life I’m going to have the affogato 2x per month as a treat. I would rather not take any extra pills. The fact that lifestyle choices require a person to take medication is hard for me to swallow.

This was why the MD author wrote the book Metabolical that I reviewed here a while ago. About how the current U.S. medical model is predicated on treating disease not preventing illness in the first place.

Today you and I must act as our own healers. Take pills if it will keep us healthy.

Yet I say: Consider scaling back on sugar, trans fat, saturated fat, high fructose corn syrup, natural flavor, and the other ingredients in food or drink that ARE making us ill.

We cannot control external factors like an inherited risk for disease. We often cannot prevent getting ill should we have any kind of breakdown either mental physical or emotional.

What is within our power is how we respond to what happens to us. The enormity or severity of a setback doesn’t determine our fate. How we respond to this obstacle is what matters.

I call creating a baseline of health “establishing the floor.” So that if we’re treating ourselves right and taking care of ourselves as a matter of course it will be easier to thrive after we get ill.

I say: each of us has the choice. A person might want to have ice cream every week. They’re likely OK with popping a pill to do so.

Th ex-governor of Tennessee easily 15 years ago wrote a book titled Fresh Medicine about what’s ailing the healthcare system in America. The governor’s primary care MD told him: You can either eat healthy or choose to have the cheeseburger. You can eat the cheeseburger when you take a statin.

What kind of credible advice is that? This is what’s not right with medical care in America. It’s almost like healthcare professionals are in collusion with pharmaceutical companies.

Food is making us sick. I want no part of making myself sick.

In no way am I going to take an extra pill just so that I can eat food that would make me ill otherwise.

In the future I’m going to post a blog entry about Acting As Our Own Healers.

Coming up new recipes that are quick and easy to create. With the weather getting warmer day by day I’m going to share no-oven required recipes that are tasty.

Risking Change

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About five weeks ago I attended a Zoom event that the Roadmap Coach Christina Bryan hosted. She talked about her method of creating your Personal Brand. In my view it’s the simplest most effective way to sell yourself.

Her pitch to obtain clients was that she helps women succeed despite their fear. Fear of change is a big issue for everyone of any identity. So too internalized shame stops us in our tracks. Feeling shame keeps us stuck and unable to change.

The writers given a platform in the media who attack readers I call the media darlings. A person who is made to feel guilty won’t be motivated to change their behavior. Attack someone and their natural response is to get defensive.

I’m struck with how fear and shame prevent us from reaching our potential. Our old habits might have served a purpose. In the light of today when we know it’s time for a change we can be afraid of making the change(s). Since the old way of life has become comfortable.

This has implications not only for our health and wellbeing. It prevents us from having the confidence to express who we are and what we stand for. This is where internalizing the shame others impose on us keeps us afraid to speak out and celebrate our worth.

I don’t know about you followers however I’m done with making myself small so that others will approve of me and feel better about themselves.

The media darlings–and any others who hate judge fear and shame us as a way of life–would be out of business if we stood up straight and stared them in the eye and said: “Look in the mirror not at me.”

The Personal Brand I want to sell is linked to the goal I have that peers can establish and sustain health, wealth, and happiness after facing illness, trauma, or injustice.

I’m not going to cut people down. My aim is to give everyone a shot in the arm of confidence to go after our goals with gusto.

The way to conquer the fear is through action. To act despite the fear. To keep taking action. Especially when the naysayers shoot down what you want to do. Tell you that it’s impossible. Or that you should stay where you are because you’re full of yourself and too big-headed.

Be proud of yourself. That’s what I say. It’s no sin to have pride.

Coming up my ideas on how to sustain change after you’ve gotten the courage to risk doing this.

My hope is that through my blogs I can create a Beautiful Community of followers. To entertain readers not just educate and empower you.

We’re going to live on earth too long in reality to harbor ill-will towards others. Too long to castigate ourselves for imagined faults too.

The Way I See Things

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I want to talk again about recovery.

You can recover even though you’re not in remission from your illness.

Even if a person has a harder time in life I still believe that within the parameters of your circumstance you can live a life of meaning and purpose.

In this regard I think of an event I went to. I sat in on a storytelling event at a guild for children with disabilities like autism. They were kindergarten age.

I felt sad that they were given the cross to bear of having a disability.

Only for one hour they enjoyed themselves listening to the songs and stories. They were like any other kids having a good time.

The enormity or severity of a challenge isn’t what matters.

It’s how a person responds to this obstacle that determines whether they succeed.

Everyone has the capacity to make lemonade out of lemons as the expression goes.

Or as I like to think bake a lemon meringue pie and give it to others when life hands you lemons.

Who knows maybe there’s a Rosie Revere Engineer among the kindergarten kids I attended the program with?

It’s high time to advocate for recovery in whatever guise it comes to a person as.

It’s time to rise above the rhetoric and champion the right of everyone living on earth to have a life of meaning and purpose.

Having Optimism

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Optimism is called for.

I created the collage above at an adult art workshop at a library.

I was inspired to spell out the word optimism in letters after I read in a personal finance book that people who are well-off or acquire wealth tend to share the trait of being optimists.

This seems far-fetched to me today. I’m an optimist and I’m not a millionaire.

Far from this–and I think a lot of other people are in the same sinking boat in today’s economy.

Why do I think optimism is called for?

The belief in a better future for ourselves is what will get us through this lingering COVID-19 outbreak which has not gone away in America.

I’m an incurable optimist in that I think people can recover from this pandemic setback that has brought uncertainty to everyone’s lives.

If you asked me why I believe that a person can recover–from an illness of any kind mental or physical–from any kind of setback or challenge I would tell you:

It’s because I think people have the power to choose how they want to live their lives.

People in recovery have control. This is what I think. For others to claim recovery is not possible they are insinuating that you are helpless to control the direction of your life.

Only you and I are in the driver’s seat. We’re the ones steering the wheel down the road of our lives.

And even for those of us who will always struggle who will continue to have a severe illness–I maintain that they can have a life of purpose and dignity.

Everyone living on earth is doing the best we can with what we were given.

Compassion is called for as well as optimism.

Giving up or giving in when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel is a mistake.

You keep walking and walking until you see the light.

I believe the future will be better. I believe that light is coming for us all.

Taking a Detour

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My life changed forever in one night in 1987 when I was 22.

I had to take a detour that lasted for 13 years. You got that right–13 years.

In light of the COVID-19 pandemic I want to talk about taking a detour.

Let me tell you a detour is not a dead-end. It’s a pit stop along the way to a different path.

Maybe you’re not supposed to get what you want quickly and painlessly.

That is the goal as I see it–to embrace the struggle for what it is– a learning of something you need to know in order to get what you want.

I care a lot that in this pandemic everything seems to have been put on hold. A sunny day can be harder to envision.

I would say my life didn’t get better until I turned 35 and started my library job and moved to Brooklyn.

Sometimes where you start out isn’t where you should remain.

That is the ultimate purpose of a detour: to cement in your mind the one true path you must go down to be happy and fulfilled.

You don’t often figure out until you experience firsthand a setback the truth about who you are and where you should be going in life.

Again–I think of these things during the pandemic we’re living through. Of how it can seem like this is the end of everything–the end of your hopes and dreams for whatever you had hoped to achieve.

I say: use this time to engage in active reflection.  Get out a notebook and sketch out what your goals will be when the pandemic is over.

Shore up your good feelings while you shelter in place.

Remember that after things get better there’s so much life for all of us to live.

Moving Forward in the Blog

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I want to start to talk about things no one else has dared talk about.

The number-one takeaway I’ve come away with while having been inside my apartment for 3 weeks is this:

Art is a Guaranty of Sanity

like the refrigerator magnet I bought proclaims.

My destiny appears to be to use the creative process to turn my ideas into reality.

By blogging and writing books to educate, entertain, and empower my target market.

Which as I see it is people who want to recover and need to recover.

My goal is to advance my vision of recovery from whatever a person is in recovery from.

This can be from an illness, from a micro-aggression, from any kind of setback hardship or obstacle either internal or external.

No–we cannot go back to the way things were in society before the CO-VI19 outbreak.

Egotism and bigotry must not prevail.

People cannot continue to hate and judge each other.

We need to halt acting greedy and seedy pursuing power at the expense of other human beings.

I identify as an Artist.

As an Artist, I believe in the transformative beauty of creating art to make the world a better place.

There’s so much that’s not right in society. I would like to do my part to change the frequency in terms of shifting the needle to the left of the dial.

To start a dialogue where everyone is free to speak the truth about who they are and why they’re here in this lifetime.

To use the blogs as an outlet to help others believe that recovery is possible.

To continue to write mostly about topics geared to mental and physical health.

To give readers a shot in the arm of confidence to express themselves without fear of reprisal.

I firmly believe that each of us is possessed with a power bigger than our pain.

The CO-VID19 outbreak will end.

It’s time to plan for a better future for ourselves, our loved ones, and the planet.

 

Recovering from an Illness, Setback, or Crisis

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As a creative person I’ve learned that doubt and confidence go hand-in-hand. You can’t “always” be confident and “never” doubt yourself.

In terms of recovery a person might be afraid to have a relapse or setback. This is only natural.

Again I will refer readers to the book Changeology: 5 Steps to Realizing Your Goals and Resolutions.

While sheltering in place and continuing to write the new novel I’ve seen that doubt can be a constant companion.

The goal in recovery as it is in life as I see it is to persist in the face of doubt.

You might doubt that things will return to normal after the pandemic. Or after you’ve faced any kind of struggle or hardship. Rightly so.

I believe that living through this crisis and surviving will give us the courage to go after our goals. Instead of sitting on the sidelines waiting to be called into the game.

This is my sincere hope that something good can come of having sheltered in place.

I’ve decided that returning to “normal” can’t be my goal once I’m carrying on outside again.

My mantra has always been that it’s just as easy to dream big as it is to settle for less.

Why not believe that recovery will be possible in whatever guise it comes to you as?

Why not go after your goals with gusto?

Why not?