The playing field isn’t level for people with mental illnesses. Whether because of stigma or because of the battles a person fights against their own mind: the playing field is only level when you compete against yourself.

You can win when you choose to compete against yourself. You might even be able to win when you compete against others for a job or a promotion, or a spot on a sports team, or a place in graduate school.

I’m most interested however in the day-to-day: the pockets of time everyone lives in every day. In how we must celebrate little victories as well as milestones like 50.

I make the case for redefining success when in fact the playing field isn’t level.

I urge every parent to love your kid for who they are not what they can do in life. Get a pen and piece of paper and write down every great thing you can think of about your loved one. Try to write down at least 20 positive things you can see in your loved one. Keep on going.

Do this for yourself if you have a mental illness: write down five things each day in a grateful journal that you’re thankful for.

Winning isn’t always becoming a neurosurgeon against great odds. It isn’t always the result of competing with others in society.

In my book winning is as simple as taking action in the direction of your dreams. Winning is one day when you have the energy setting the dining table with a place mat elegant flatware and your best dishes. Winning is getting out of bed.

Winning is when you decide to like yourself even though you don’t see yourself reflected in media stories about successful people.

Winning comes when you accept that you are a great person just the way you are. You don’t have to apologize for your existence or justify to anyone else how you live your life.

Winning is not throwing in the towel. It’s telling yourself: “I got halfway today. That’s good enough. I can try again tomorrow.”

You win when you understand that you can’t do everything and have everything that other people have. You win when you’re grateful for what you ARE able to do and ARE able to have.

You win when you plant the seeds and water the grass in your own garden instead of envying other people’s grass.

It isn’t greener over there.

Each of us must define “success” in our own terms.

That as a fortune cookie stated: “There is no shame in failure only in quitting.”

Winning is making the effort even when the odds are stacked against you.

Winning is trying your best every day knowing that your best will change from day to day.

Winning is flashing a smile to someone who’s hurting.

Winning is tipping a waitress who’s been on her feet 10 hours 20 percent.

Winning is the little things.

Everyone’s a winner in my book.

You’re a winner simply because you try your best.